Etiquette in a small wedding
ATTIRE
Guests are only advised to wear clothes comfortable to them. A dress from a closet selection, a white one or even a sundress is appropriate for a small wedding. A bridesmaid can wear a white dress or even a pantsuit. The groom can go for khakis, or even jeans paired with a shirt and a sport coat.
SETTING
A small wedding can be held in a community center, a local park or even your parents’ backyard. Holding ceremonies in a unique location such as a rooftop, a barn, an art gallery can clearly speak about the personalities of the couple.
INVITATIONS
Invitations in a small wedding can be handwritten on handmade paper. Send them like writing a note to a close friend. It is important to note that attendees should be in casual attire.
FLOWERS
Simple bulbs such as hyacinths or tulips can serve as alternatives for floral flower arrangements. Using these will generate huge savings for the couple. Gerber diaries inserted in a flat container filled with wheat grass can serve as an attractive centerpiece.
MENU
The menu of a small wedding can be very diverse. A party can be set a few months before the wedding and the guests can be asked to bring their favorite recipes. The couple can choose their favorites and use them as wedding food. It is also good to acknowledge whose recipe it is by putting a label in front of every dish. Besides a party, a barbeque or picnic fare can be held.
REGISTRY
Common retail stores such as Sears or Target can be used as gift registries. Couples can specify what they want to receive in order to avoid the usual gift of expensive China that will likely collect dust in a cabinet.
Costs, costs, costs
Tradition dictates that the bride’s parents are responsible for paying off the wedding regardless if it is small or big. However, expenses have become an issue due to the challenging times. The etiquette in requesting for money is by gathering both families and discussing how to share in the wedding expenses, as the couple will unlikely have enough to cover all of their needs.
The budget will be a major basis on what type of wedding will be held. The couple needs to meet with everyone who will be attending. However, the couple cannot force their parents to shell out money that is not available.
Couples can make various compromises if their budget falls short. For example, less expensive rings can be used. A more expensive replacement can be acquired in the future. Some couples do not even have wedding rings at all. Those living in a nice climate can have the reception at home and hire catering services. To help control costs, a butler can be tasked to pass around hors d’ oeuvres and refreshments.
The parents of the groom traditionally pay for the following items:
- Boutonnieres for groom's attendants
- The bride's bouquet
- Officiate fee or donation
- Rehearsal Dinner
- Lodging and transportation expenses of the rabbi or minister
- Corsages for every family member
- Transportation of the Groom and Best Man going to the wedding
Giving tips is a nice way of rewarding those that have given good service but it is not a requirement. A tip given to a minister can be seen as a gift for marrying the couple. Tips can be given to servers, drivers and musicians but still, this is not a requirement.
The etiquette in service fees
Couples should make sure that they are comfortable with the people that are helping in the wedding whether it is the wedding experts, the photographer and even the florists. They should share the same vision on how the wedding should come out and not merely focus on how much money will spent.
A couple may receive possibly the lowest price but if the rendered service does not meet what was promised, the value is useless, even if it is a small wedding.
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